My Fear

FEAR or FEAR NOT?!

This weekend has been such a crazy weekend for me. I felt so forced and pushed at the same time and it made me couldn't breath at all!

Start from my Tuesday night. I wasn't aware I was going to have a hectic weekend, so I kind of laid back until I realized I had physic lab report and SUA Application that I needed to turn in the next day. But, I knew I shouldn't sleep late because I had bootcamp the next "early" morning. So, I decided to go to bed.

Wednesday, I let my life go wherever it goes! I had to skip my three morning classes to get my report and SUA Application done. The terrible thing was I had solo audition at 2, so I couldn't get my application done and I had choir classes until 4. FYI, the application was due at 4.30. So, I ran to my choir director, went to choir classes, and tried my best to finish everything by 4.30. I was stuck in computer lab, typing whatever popping-up in my brain, answering all of 6 hard questions! I ran (again) to SUA office and turned everything in. Fiuh! Hard work.

On Thursday, I had OChem exam. One word: sucks! I squeezed everything in whatever hour I had to study and review everything. It's not that easy! I wanted to cry, but I encouraged myself I could do it! After exam, I was doubting: to or not to go to SUA meeting OR Danforth Chapel. I felt like I really wanted to spend sometime with God and prayed. I didn't know where my feet heading to, I just followed it until I was at Union. I texted my friend and she said the meeting was almost done, so there's no reason I went there (at least I wanted to go for pizza with them, but I didn't feel it). Then, I decided walk back to Danforth Chapel. Shuts! So many cars means there's something going on. I opened the door and I heard somebody's voice, I closed it again. I couldn't use that Chapel then. Well, I have nowhere to go until I remembered there's CRU meeting tonight at 8 and at that time it was 7.30ish. I called my friend and she said she was going to speak tonight. Sweet!

Walking back to Burge Union (it took more less 20 mins) and thinking: "How about my SUA interview? How about my HW that's due on Mon? How about Late Night Price is Right on Sat? How about International Friends? Hip Hop Hustle? After choir meeting? Physic HW?" Everything mixed in my mind. Not good.

Surprisingly I met Emily, the girl who I met at Kansas Union early of the day. That's pretty AWESOME! We talked a little bit while she was tabling for Lied Center. And actually, she was the one who's running the meeting tonight. Sweet! Then, I met Morgan and Cathy, her conversation partner. Another sweet moment! And fiuh, I am so blessed of my friend talked about. She talked about "The final words of Paul to Timothy" and every points she mentioned, everything.. hit me. I was going to bawl with tears. This is why I was so weak, this is why God never let me down, this is why He's here beside me. He's my sweet sweet song.

And this Friday, I didn't know that there would be Price is Right's pre-setting up at 6 PM, until I checked my email at 11.30 at night. I am dumb! And this morning, we should meet at 10 in the morning, but I overslept until almost 12 and went to Union at 1. Dumber! (I know..)

Tonight, it's going to be an insane night for me. Working for Price is Right from 5-around 2AM and need to wake up early on Sunday for SUA interview at 1. FYI, the daylight saving is tonight, so I'll lose an hour of sleeping.

I'm just a human and He's God! I put everything on His hands and I believe it'll be fine (I hope...)


You are so good to me
You heal my broken heart
You are my Father in Heaven

You're beautiful my sweet sweet song
And I will sing again
~You are so good to me (Third Day)